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What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave?

Thanks for coming!

Some Sperm Donor Humor


  • Politicians are like sperm Only one in a million turn out to be a human being.

  • Why are sperm donations more expensive than blood donations?... They are hand made

  • What do a sperm bank and Michael Jackson have in common? They both tell you to beat it.

  • I didn't know you could get paid for donating sperm. When I think of all the money I've let slip through my fingers...

  • What’s the difference between a sperm bank and a regular bank? After you make a deposit at the sperm bank, you lose interest.

  • The Blue Whale ejaculates over 40 gallons of sperm when mating. Only 10% enters the female..... And you always wondered why the sea tasted salty?

  • What did the sperm think about his chances of becoming a baby?.... He thought it was inconceivable.

  • What did the man say when he was getting kicked out of the sperm bank...... That’s the last time I’m coming in here

  • What did one sperm say to the other sperm?.... How far to the uterus? Uterus hell, we have to get past the esophagus first!

  • How do you cancel an appointment at the sperm bank?.... Just call up and say you can't cum!

  • Two sperm cells are swimming together. One asks the other: "hey, did you just fart"?.......... "No", the other replies............ "Then I guess the idiot came in the wrong hole."

  • Why didn't the sperm donor have any free time?..... Because he had loads to do.

  • I work at an oppressed sperm bank.... But through all odds, we will overcome.

  • Called my local sperm bank clinic to know what's the best time to pay them a visit. They said, “Whenever you feel like coming.”

  • A doctor was doing his rounds on the ward and came across a male patient masturbating. He said to the Nurse in charge, surely you shouldn’t be allowing this to happen on the ward, it’s most inappropriate. The nurse replied, he has HSC (high sperm count), he has to do this daily to bring the count down. Ok, the doctor said, I’ll allow it. The next patient on the round was in a private room. The doctor entered to find a nurse rubbing the patient’s erect member vigorously. The doctor was aghast and said, what kind of inappropriate behaviour is going on here? This is preposterous. The nurse in charge said Doctor, this man also has HSC but he has private health insurance....

  • So I was chatting it up with the receptionist at the sperm bank And I said "You know, I really love this place. I come here all the time."

  • What's black, 10-inches long, rock-hard and filled with sperm? The sock under my bed.

  • I hate it when people bother me... I'm tired of people ringing my doorbell at all hours of the day and night, asking for donations. This morning it was some woman from the sperm bank. Boy, did I give her a mouthful!

  • How can you tell if you have a high sperm count?.... Your girl has to chew before she swallows

  • What do you call the first sperm that reaches the egg?.... The ova achiever

  • I went to the doctors yesterday and was surprised when he told me i needed to stop masturbating.... "I asked Why, is my sperm count low?"........... "No, you just need to let me finish your prostate exam first."

  • Who named the Sperm Whales?.... Seamen.

  • Today I came home to my wife crying because she was fired for drinking on the job..... She worked at a sperm bank

  • My doctor just asked me if I knew my sperm count..... "Didn't realise they were that clever"

  • I read that visits to sperm banks have dropped dramatically... It's probably because, these days, most men do their banking online...

  • My local sperm bank now has a guestbook.. To see who came before you.

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